Skint.

to the point where my housemates are donating food to me.

This really isn't fun.

World at Large - Modest Mouse.

I always wish i had the balls to pack up my stuff and just go somewhere and experience something new.

Ice-age heat wave, can't complain.

If the world's at large, why should I remain?

Walked away to another plan.

Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand.

I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way.

Went to the porch to have a thought.

Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop.

You don't know where and you don't know when.

But you still got your words and you got your friends.

Walk along to another day.

Work a little harder, work another way.

Well uh-uh baby I ain't got no plan.

We'll float on maybe would you understand?

Gonna float on maybe would you understand?

Well I'll float on maybe would you understand?

The days get shorter and the nights get cold.

I like the autumn but this place is getting old.

I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast.

It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.

The day's get longer and the nights smell green.

I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.

I like songs about drifters - books about the same.

They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.

Walked on off to another spot.

I still haven't got anywhere that I want.

Did I want love? Did I need to know?

Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

The moths beat themselves to death against the lights.

Adding their breeze to the summer nights.

Outside, water like air was great.

I didn't know what I had that day.

Walk a little farther to another plan.

You said that you did, but you didn't understand.

I know that starting over is not what life's all about.

But my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud.

Trelissick.

This is my piece.

I dont like it.

People seemed to like it at the private view.

But i dont.

Steel, paint and feathers.

I hope it rusts away.

Trelissick Garden Project Update.

I am still not panicking. I must be insane. I have to be in uni for 7am friday morning to go and set up. This means i have the day tomorrow to fill the buds with textures, I MUST BE FINISHED BY NINE PM.

Or im screwed.

These are the lilly buds sprayed that i did today. I think everyone was surprised about how they were going to look. Nice to know everyone has faith in me.

Do I Panic Yet?

I am currently doing a project in uni that is site specific and based in Trellisick Gardens in Cornwall. We have all had since before the Easter Holidays to develop and make our pieces, but yet again 2nd year Contemporary Crafts frustrate the tutors and dont appear to have much done a week before the private view. I am very much included in this statement. The exhibition opens on 21st May, (friday). I made the first component of my piece yesterday, (friday the 14th). I dont think it has hit me yet that we only have 3/4 days to finish this. No matter how many times i tell it to myself or how much the tutors tell me, "Well Fucking hell. Good Luck", It still doesn't get through my head.

Anyway, i can get it done, it is just a lot of work with every day thi

s week in the studio until 9pm.

These are the main buds. I know they dont look very pretty at the moment. But they will be. They are quite sharp and seeing as they are meant to be for people to put their hands in, im going to have to seriously sort that out. I even got a metal splinter in my arm from one of them. I have quite alot of work to do.

So why am i not panicking? I can't tell you that, as i dont know myself.

Nutritious.

This weekend has been really fun in general, chilling with Gemma. A highlight of the weekend though has actually been the food, aswell as the company. On friday I bought our house a tiny little BBQ that is so short that it only comes to my knees, me being 5'3", this is quite small. Even so, it is a badass little cooking machine. Gemma came round on friday and we warmed up the new BBQ. I have been wanting to try out the recipe for quite a while and this was the perfect time. So i wrapped up two little foil packages, each of them containing a filet of Haddock, a slice and juices of a lime, lemon and orange, sprigs of dill, red chilli, and some onion. The original recipe calls for cod, and doesn't include dill, but because haddock has such a nice fishy flavour i put the dill in to bring it out. I dont mean to blow my own horn, but it was amazing, cooked to perfection and tasted beautiful. I served it with a salad with a little dressing on, and it just worked. The citrus was subtle, and the juices were lovely. Thinking about it make me want it again. It will happen again soon.

Myself and Gemma carried on our girly few days and went on a shopping trip to Truro. It was another nice day, even though there were a few shopping disappointments for me. So naturally when you start to run out of steam when shopping, you need to refuel. We went to a lovely little vegetarian cafe type restaurant called Lettuce & Lovage. I really do feel the Lovage. We got a huge plate of Nachos to share, and some elderflower to drink and it was awesome. It is just so yummy. The one thing though, is they could do with more cheese. Just a tad more. Personally there weren't enough Jalapenos for my taste. The guacamole and the salsa were very good though, big chunks of avocado doused in lime juice, and huge chunks of tomatoes and herbs. It was an orgasm in the mouth.

I would recommend Lettuce & Lovage to anyone who appreciates good food and wonderful flavours. But if you are going to complain about the lack of meat on the menu then i suggest that you steer clear.

So yes, over all a lovely few days for the senses. Amazing food. Beautiful Clothes. Fresh Air. Pampering. Chats and Giggles.

Then i have to go an spoil the good food with THE BEST SWEETS IN THE WORLD...

I am however, not complaining.

Gemma&Paint&Cider&Giggles.

We sorted ourselves out.

I painted and drew my shoes.

Shits and Giggles.

Simply a lovely afternoon.

Rockin' The Denim.

I might not be Rockin' it. But im loving this jacket.

Old Favourite.

This is my favourite Polaroid picture that i have ever taken, simply becuase the result was better than the intention. I took it years ago, im not sure when. It must have been spring or summer for the daisies to have been out, and for the grass to be so long. I have no idea where the actual frame is. I am sure it is in my room at home somewhere. I am yet to find it after clear outs and searches. Oh well.

I love it because i was shooting the daisies. They were too close to the lens, and the grass was shot in perfect detail. Leaving the daisies as simple block colour against the grass. I couldn't do this again. Even if i tried.

Sketchbook Work Day.

Its about time i started some work.

I think im doing ok. I have got my idea pretty much sorted. All about touch and the nerves. Its a site specific project in Trelisike Gardens. Coincidentally the nerve endings that are stimulated by touch are typical leaf shape. And this is what i am concentrating on. I had the idea about a tree with different materials to stimulate different feelings in the touch. i hope it works, it still has a bit of developing to do but its on its way.

In the meantime, i am having a nice day, with OC series 2, (my favourite series). Lovely sweet cups of tea, (im almost out of sugar). Water colour drawings and niceness. Its a very nice day. I love the sun, its making me happy.

A Beautiful Sunset.

I was just having a nap. For some reason or another i was really tired.

Anyway. In this little sleep, i had a very bitter-sweet dream. It was about sunsets. For some amazing reason, my Olympus OM-2 was working again. I was running all around these fields, in the place i used to go to have a relax near my house. Every

where i turned being a beautiful summer sunset falling in the sky. Yet every time i lifted one of the many cameras i had slung around me to take a picture of this beautiful sight, the sun would plummet into the ground, or a faceless someone would walk in front of the lens at a crucial moment, or the camera would jam. How frustrating it was. Then finally a sunset. It stayed still in the sky, not setting, just hanging in the sky waiting for me to take a picture. It was talking to me. Im not quite sure what it was saying. But it was a deep and soothing voice. The sun itself and the surrounding sky and grass resembled much of the sun god from Watership Down. I went to take a picture, this time with pure quality. I went to get my digital slr out of its case. It was heavy with anticipation as i tried to open the bag, but to no avail. My other cameras being let downs before, i did not trust them to capture such a beautiful sight. So i simply stared...

I then awoke.

I would love someone to analyse this dream. It would be very interesting.

New Era///

(As they would say on the OC season 2)//

It feels like a new era. The sun has come out. And this is the only real reason i am feeling like this anyway. Firstly, i am stupidly excited for next term. Not becuase of uni mind. But becuase of the place. Cornwall, in the sun is truly awesome. The new term means a temporary relief from money problems. This means some new nice clothes, and some lovely summer sandals. The new term means a new project at uni, (which i really should start some work for).

The new term means beach times. Which, are always awesome. Also, me and my housemate chloe are going to be going to watch her boyfriend play cricket. Cricket times include; Picnics cider and sunning and cheering. These are all good things in my book. We are going to try and play cricket on the beach, maybe buy some kids cricket stumps and have a play in the sand. Im also temped to buy a little raft or something to take to the sea, and we can paddle out a little bit and chill.

I am possibly too excited. Maybe even enough to be setting myself up for disappointment. Seeing as i wont have as much free time as my housemates. There are likely going to be weeks, (not days), when i really wont want to go into uni at all, let alone do work. Especially if the sun and beach are calling me.

I am also going to do possibly the stupidest diet ever. Apples. Green tea. With exercise. Every day. No excuses. Maybe some veg aswell. steamed or raw. no frying unless its dry frying.

I am going to be fit by the time the summer holidays come around. My downfall will be cider. Sun and cider and cricket are just and unbeatable combination and must happen, with the occasional bit of cheese going on.

I am excited beyond words at the thought of all this happening.

Another plan this term, is to refine my style of work at uni. It is a bit all over the place at the moment. I need to use up the rest of my feathers. I have a vague idea of what i want to do. Because it is site specific, and in a garden. Im going to make a tree. I do like trees. and the branches. I need to find a nice trunk of one. But i want to do something on touch again. Im placed in the sensory garden, which is perfect. On the tree i will make the leaves, out of all different materials. Wood. Linen. Paper. Copper/Brass. Feathers. Maybe laser cut some of the materials. And i could oxidise the metals. or just leave the copper at its quenched state. To inject a bit of colour into it all.

When you anneal copper, (soften it), and then plunge it into cold water, the carbon on it cracks and some of it washes off leaving a pink colour to the copper with flakes of black carbon still on it. On the right things it looks really effective. and i think it would inject the right amount of colour to go in the tree. and if i oxidised brass it goes a muted green, so it would maybe blend into the background with the other shrubs and plants in the garden.

This project is actually going to involve some work... HUM

Its going to be a good term.

Grow. out and up.

I need the layers in my hair to grow out. they are the left overs from my mullet. i got into a cycle of having my hair cut into a mullet. Growing it out. mullet once more. this time though i think i have grown up some more. A mullet no longer works. but i do not quite know what i want. More girly than funky. like before.

I did have my hair trimmed a few days ago.

I found a picture on the Tony and Guy website of hair that i love and think i could get away with if the fringe wasn't so thick and maybe if i could keep the volume in the hair.

I took it to my hair dresser and she wasn't able to do it because the layers in my hair are too short, even though the main length of my hair is really long.

This 'do' is what i am going to aspire to now. but im going to try and keep it interesting in the meantime. For now i just have a bit of a 60's fringe. peace.

Home is not Creative.

It is the easter holidays away from uni. I am at home, and i am bored. Already i have had the parents nagging. Fix the car. Pay back money. Get a job. Blah. Do they not realise that this is in fact a chance for me to have a break? Given this i do have work to do for uni. Alot of sketchbook work. But for some reason or another my house and home do not allow me to be creative. I dont really have much inspiration. It is nice being home in a familiar environment and there is comfort in the same old. Yet that is part of the problem, there are no new ideas stemming from my brain onto the paper in my sketchbook. Sat here in my room, i have things surrounding me that i like and find interesting. but. the ideas that were inspired by these objects have come and gone. What to do? What to do?

Relevant.

Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight

Looking kind of anxious in your cross-armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life anymore
So I blame this town, this job, these friends, the truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself and pinpoint who I am
When I finally get it figured out, I've changed the whole damn plan

Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Oh, noose
Tied myself in, tied myself too tight

Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
Changed my mind so much I can't even trust it
My mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself

(talking shit about a pretty sunset- Modest Mouse)

Peaking too soon.

I dont know if it is just becuase im at uni. Or whether im a complete sucker for advertising schemes. But Christmas is very much in my mind, almost as if it is tomorrow.

Today, hungover, watching films and having a huge bowl of roast potatoes for a late lunch. Opening my advent calendar.

The Snow Ball on Saturday with champagne and gorgeous food and pampering.

Being at uni, i dont think it helps that everyone wants to have a christmas dinner and do secret santa and party before everyone goes home for the holidays, to actually celebrate christmas.

I am very excited about being home in winter again. Winter in Cornwall just isn't nice compared to at home. You dont get that actual cold down here, just rain and wind all the time.

I always miss the cobbled streets of bath and for some reason it makes

it seem more festive.

I have lots of presents to buy well not too many. Me and joe are going

twos on all the presents so that should help alot with costs, seeing as i dont have any money. Also going back to work in the holidays wont make ends meet. On the plus side, when i get my new laptop through i can sell this one and get a bit of money.

This is my little mood board that i made on Polyvore. Its not really all what i want for christmas. But i feel like im not as girly any more as i used to be. My artwork so far isn't really reflecting that either. As for the Time Travellers Wife, that is my new favourite book. I really love it. Its a bit weird becuase i can see the characters in it reflecting me and joe. Claire in the book has long flowing red hair..like mine. She is an artist..like me, in love with a handsome man with longish(for a boy) brown hair, skinny, and has a passion for what he does... its joe.

Any way i would like the dress and boots, and the purse would be a nice extra. I think my mum may actually be getting the dress and boots for me. Which would be awesome.

Later on this month i will put posts up about how christmas and my work is going.

Its about the Blue House that I live in.

An English House

Could never be warm

When autumn has waned

And winter is born

Single-glazed windows

Wont keep the draft

Away for long

Watching birds

And aeroplanes

Crossing the sky

And out of my frame

Evening sounds

From Hauntsie Lane

To which I am drawn

An English House

Could never be warm

When autumn has waned

And winter is born

Single-glazed windows

Wont keep the draft

Away for long

- Kings of convenience