Monday, 31 January 2011


Why am i seeing 06:46...


(I know why)

Swan Lake.

Act I

Prince Siegfried arrives at his 21st birthday celebration on the palace courtyards to find all of the royal families and townspeople dancing and celebrating, while the young girls are anxiously seeking his attention. During the exquisite celebration, his mother gives him crossbow and informs him that because he is of age now, his marriage will be quickly arranged. Hit with the sudden realization of his future responsibilities, he takes his crossbow and makes haste to the woods with his hunting buddies.

Act II

Getting ahead of the group, Prince Siegfried finds himself a peaceful spot by an enchanted lake where swans gently float across its surface. While Siegfried watches, he spots the most beautiful swan with a crown on its head. His buddies soon catch up, but he orders them to leave so he can be by himself. As dusk falls, the swan with the crown turns into the most beautiful young woman he has ever seen. Her name is Odette, the Swan Queen. She informs the young prince that an evil sorcerer, Von Rothbart, who so happens to be disguised as Prince Siegfried’s mentor, has turned her and the other girls into swans and that the lake was formed by the tears of their parents' weeping. She tells him that the only way the spell could be broken is if a man, pure in heart, pledges his love to her. The Prince, about to confess his love for her, is quickly interrupted by the evil sorcerer. He takes Odette from Prince Siegfried’s embrace and commands all of the swan maidens to dance upon the lake and its shore so that the prince cannot chase them. Prince Siegfried is left all alone on the shore of Swan Lake.


The next day at the formal celebration in the Royal Hall, Prince Siegfried is presented with many prospective princesses. Although the princesses are worthy of his attention, he cannot stop thinking about Odette. His mother commands him to choose a bride, but he cannot. For the mean time, he satisfies his mother's request by at least dancing with them. While the prince is dancing, trumpets announce the arrival of Von Rothbart. He brings his daughter, Odile, on whom he has cast a spell to appear as Odette. Her beauty captivates the prince as he dances with the imposter. Unbeknownst to Prince Siegfried, the true Odette is watching him from a window. The prince soon confesses his love to Odile, thinking that she is Odette. To Odette’s horror, she flees into the night. Prince Siegfried sees the real Odette fleeing from the window and realizes his mistake. Upon his realization, Von Rothbart reveals to the prince the true appearance of his daughter Odile. Prince Siegfried quickly leaves the party and chases after Odette.

Act IV

Odette has fled back to the lake and joined the rest of the girls in sadness. Prince Siegfried finds them gathered at the shore consoling each other. He explains to Odette the trickery of Von Rothbart and she grants him her forgiveness. It isn’t long before when Von Rothbart and Odile appear in their evil, un-human, somewhat bird like forms. Von Rothbart tells the prince that he must stick to his word and marry his daughter. A fight quickly follows. Prince Siegfried tells Von Rothbart that he would rather die with Odette than to marry Odile. He then takes Odette’s hand and together they jump into the lake. The spell is broken and the remaining swans turn back into humans. They quickly drive Von Rothbart and Odile into the water where they, too, drown. The girls watch the spirits of Prince Siegfried and Odette ascend into the heavens above Swan Lake.

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Last sentence in my dissertation...

"It is therefore my belief that, for another movement within art and design to happen, there will need to be an event, which affects the whole world, and touches all the people within it."

I will be so glad when this is over.
Second Chapter to finish...
1000 words to go.

A month of pictures.

There was no point to yesterday.

I wrote my conclusion for my dissertation yesterday, knowing that it wouldn't be amazing or finished, but i shouldn't have done anything.
I was in a massive sleepy haze. Babbling absolute crap.

I don't really know what my total word count is at the moment.
I know i still need to write about 1000 words to go in the second chapter.

as soon as i reach the minimum i think i might just pass out.

So sick of this. I haven't physically left the house in 4 days. I'm going completely insane.
I don't know why i didn't start this before.

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Happy Birthday Joe.

Joseph Donald Clarke Baker is 23 today.

I swear he's getting more good looking as he gets older.

It's so gutting that i cant be there for his birthday, but i'll see him soon hopefully.
I really hope so, but its not looking that promising to be honest. EURGH. i miss him so much.

He liked his presents:
Clint Eastwood DVD box-set
Black Squid Ink pasta
Haribo men
and a gay little chime ball.

And my mum gave him an awesome batman card with some money inside. So that can go towards his interface.
I just really hope i can see im soon. Maybe after this stupid dissertation is in.
(Which im having trouble doing right now)

I'm so tired, to the point in considering getting something off kitty or someone to keep me up. I want to go to sleep so much. I just re-read a para graph of what i just wrote and it just doesn't make sense. Like not that the grammar is bad or anything but just like.. thats not relevant, why am i writing that.


Anyway, I need to get writing if im going to finish it by 00:00 sunday night.

Happy Birthday Joey. I love you. Have a nice relaxing day watching your westerns. x

Now its Saturday..


My Life.


I need to stop blogging after midnight, it screws up my days!

Now, to me it's still friday.
I may go to bed now.



This was me this morning. And when i say this morning, i mean this afternoon when i got up.

Thursday, 27 January 2011


I miss Joe. Alot.

I slept with the black man last night like it was joe and it was slightly comforting, but then really quite sad to wake up and still be wrapped around him like my life depends on it.
Weird how joe's replacement when i miss him is a big cushion.
Neither of us can afford to go an visit the other, and if we would there is no good time that wouldn't effect our work.

This whole term is going to be awful.

I'm Motivated.

Lets see how long this can last.

Wednesday, 26 January 2011


Bonjour. Mon nom est Natasha.
Je m'appelle Tash par la plupart des gens. Je suis âgé de 21 ans, aux cheveux roux et les yeux bruns. Je suis assez courte, et je suis decorpulence moyenne. J'aime bien la façon dont je regarde.
Je vis dans une petite maison bleue à Cornwall. Je vis également avec trois autres personnes. Un garçon et deux filles. Nous n'avons pas un jardin à la maison, mais nous avons une fosse peu de béton, ce qui est très agréable en été.
Lorsque l'université finition i, i espoir de passer à Bath, Somerset. J'aitoujours voulu vivre là-bas, et c'est une occasion parfaite. J'étudie actuellement artisanat contemporain à l'Université de Falmouth. Je nepense pas que je vais continuer avec l'artisanat comme une machine,mais je voudrais aller en travail dans une galerie.
J'espère que tout se passe pour moi.

Si tout n'est pas ok, alors ce n'est pas la fin.

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

I dont actually think i can handle reading through anymore of my dissertation.

Tears were shed.
Joe might as well have asked if i was mentally retarded.

I can't believe how bad i am at writing.
I generally thought my english skills were pretty good.


I am so royally fucked.
By myself.


It's raining and im procrastinating to an extreme level.
1000 words to write and none so far today. It's getting worse.

I need to go to the post office and send Joe's birthday present. I should have done it yesterday, but i didn't have time in the morning.

Eurgh, im not even really writing anything im just trying to not start work.

Maybe i'll make another cup of tea.
I'v had so many this morning, and iv run out of biscuits. I swear i dont have any blood, its just tea running through my veins.

Anyway. Work.
(Maybe i'll take some pictures of my tea. And go and get some more biscuits instead.)

Monday, 24 January 2011


So i am now an Artefact Researcher, (Volunteer).
I had a little tour around the museum from a lovely lady named Maggie, and we had about a half hour conversation about my hair colour which was cool.
There are lots of volunteers that actually do main things in the museum, like there were a couple of them down in the basement cataloguing donations of fossils and figuring out what they actually are.
I was quite surprised that it was mainly volunteers and then that there are only a few curators and things like that.

Im excited now though, that i am actually doing something worthwhile rather than just sat in a room with a load of stuff getting dodgy looks from strangers as to whether they can touch it or not.

I am basically going to be working for the revealing collections section and finding out as much information as i can on particular artefacts and then making a file on them.

Its such a good opportunity for my cv, and i can basically keep it going until work gets too heavy.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

From Tomorrow.

Tomorrow i have the induction to the Royal Cornwall Museum Truro.
And then from the end of that, i am going home, to work on dissertation.

I have until wednesday the 2nd of february to finish it, and then one day to check it, print it and get it bound, then had it in on the 4th of February, then go out and get so drunk and be happy and do nice stuff that i die of relief before the next big project sets in.

Saturday, 22 January 2011

A Night at the Museum.

These are a few of my favourites from the exhibition last night. The quality of the work last night was really great, well done everyone!

Joshua Kerley
Joshua Kerley

Felix McCormack

Rebecca Sims

John Cartwright

Simon Walmsley

Elizabeth Scheller

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Final Pieces.

These are my final pieces on display ready for the exhibition, which is now open.
The private view is tomorrow night at 6pm, im just going for the free wine. I had a good presentation with the museum curators today, but it still doesn't cloud the fact that i only got a third for this project. At least my grade isn't on display with them. That would be embarrassing. It is quite comforting to see people's surprised faces when i tell them what i got, which obviously means than they are better than that in the eyes of the people that would actually see them.

This is my new and revised personal statement that will go along side them at the exhibition:

"In the story of Cinderella, the step-sisters mutilate their feet for the promise of a perfect life if they can fit into a tiny glass slipper. How far would you go for the ‘perfect’ body and there-for a ‘perfect’ life. "


This is what we have been working towards. I will upload photos of some of my favourites in another post. Come along and see if you are in the area.
Tremough Campus, Penryn, Cornwall.


I really miss joe today.
I really can't concentrate on work.
I really need a hug.
(or at lease some physical human contact)

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

All 'planned' out.

It feels like all i have actually done today is plan.
We had an introduction to a unit worth 20 credits about our future called Professional Practice. This unit is basically so that we can look at what we really want to do in the future with realistic prospects. The amount of work that has to be done for that is really quite daunting, and i really wish we hadn't had the intro until after dissertation was in, because now it's just one more thing playing on my mind.
(I have had a constant headache since last wednesday, and im running out of paracetamol)

This afternoon i had a tutorial with my dissertation tutor and she then made me realise that i only have TWO WEEKS, to get it done, and i have to re-write everything except half of the final chapter. So basically two weeks of doing nothing other than dissertation. It should be ok. But then i think im just telling myself that so i dont panic. Not that i usually do, but it could easily happen at the moment.
I have highlighted all of the time i intend to work on my dissertation on my timetable, so naturally the whole thing from now until the 4th february is yellow.

I'm just realising how disorientated i am with the dates at the moment. In my minds eye it is still the first week back at uni, and still in the first half of january. It's really not.
And this deadline is really creeping up on me fast.
I really do need to get my act together, but it's not going to happen today.
Tomorrow is business.
From then i become a working recluse with no life.

P.S. I forgot to take a photograph of my work for this mini exhibition, but i will take one soon i promise.


Today was much better than yesterday, the blue monday.
I actually got some supports done for my exhibition, which launches tomorrow, and although i only got a third, i am really happy with my pieces.
Now that they are on display, and lit well, they look lovely and i hope others agree.

I will take a picture tomorrow and share what they look like on display.


Tuesday, 18 January 2011


My house obviously didn't want me to get to sleep last night.
Housemate on the phone until 2am talking really loud.
Other housemate and boyfriend come back drunk at half 2am. SHAG REALLY LOUDLY.
And then i dont get up until now when i have to go in and work.

Also. A girl just left our house who i dont know.
Im going to go on ben for that one.

Monday, 17 January 2011


It does seem very stupid that i am still up and online, doing nothing very productive. Scanning Topshop, H&M and Tumblr while talking to people on Facebook isn't going to help my uni work in any way. So why am i up. I nearly failed my last project, and it looks like ill fail this one too if im not careful.
Am i really not serious about my work? This is a joke. Im going to bed.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Shit in general.

This morning i felt pretty good, well bar a few things.
Just generally felt good, and productive. I went to Uni, got feedback for my work, (as featured in my lat post), and i got a third.
My day went dramatically downhill. It was raining. Windy. Reflecting every aspect of my mood.
In pain. Just so down.
I come home, talk to joe. It doesn't help. I miss him, and im emotional at the moment anyway, so im just crying. Talking about my work and why i almost failed. I need to work so much harder than i am doing. I need to buy materials for my work. Its getting on top of me so much and i feel hopeless.
I cant afford a train ticket to even go home for joe's birthday. I shouldn't even go out this saturday. I can't afford anything at all.
I really want to go home for joe, but i dont think i can. I need to work harder at uni, its the weekend before my dissertation deadline, so already thats not a good start. I am already half way into my overdraft, so i can barely afford a present yet alone a train ticket.
Everything is so piled at the moment. All on my chest and i cant do anything except cry. I cant think straight.
Im going to have to think of some money making solutions.
Im going to have to work much much harder.
Im going to have to try and keep everything nice with joe without seeing him somehow.

I cant stop crying tonight.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Collar Bone Adornments.

These pieces are all made from raised Brass. Shaped to the contours of an exaggerated form of some collar bones. The original mould was from my own, but i carved away at that mould to make the bones even more prominent.

Collar Bone Decorative Plates

In the story of Cinderella, the stepsisters cut off their toe and heel in belief that they will receive the perfect life as the Prince’s bride, from this small task of making their feet fit into a glass slipper.

In today’s society, having the ‘perfect’ body is seen as a necessity to be happy. In extreme cases it is desirable to be so thin that you have protruding bones. If these features are indeed such a desirable aspect of the social norm, then why are there not more adornments for these protruding details?

How far would you go, for the promise of the perfect happy ending?

Summer Anticipation

Monday, 10 January 2011

Ela Zubrowska

Just found this Artist who has done this project called Water to Water.
Im not sure how she does it, but the results of what she does is amazing. I am in love with the form and the shapes that are created.

Find it HERE.

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Some of All.

As you do when you start a new year, you start thinking about the previous one, and the one to come. What will you do? Have you learned from last year? Really? What are your expectations? What do you think the reality will be?

Honestly, i think this year is going to be a complete copy of 2010. I'm doing more or less exactly the same as i was doing this time last year, so why should it change? My situation hasn't changed, and until it does i don't think there is going to be much variation in how i live my life. For the next 7 to 8 months anyway. I say 7 to 8 months, because i finish uni this year. Sometime in July, i will have finished my 3 years of a Contemporary waste of time. (Contemporary Crafts).
Last year, spring term, i actually did quite a bit of work, and i will have to have a repeat of this to even do slightly well for my degree. Already i am dreading the 4th February, (dissertation hand-in), but i am slightly ahead in advancing an actual life for after uni rather than being stuck at home with my parents going 'So now what?'.
The project we are currently doing, called Revealing Collections, at the Royal Cornwall Museum, is making some form of reaction to an artefact in the collection at the museum, focusing on different attitudes toward sex in different times and relating them to modern day attitudes through the things that we make. I took on the take of body image, and you can see some of the development for this work in some previous posts.
On the 20th January i will be training in the museum as a volunteer, and to be honest i think i would rather be doing this, and feeling like i was actually doing something that might help future prospects of my life career-wise rather than sitting in the studio staring at an empty page in my sketchbook and trying to convince my tutors that im doing work. The thing is, the volunteering is going to be with the collection that we are supposed to be making these objects for, so im not sure if it is going to go down that well with my tutors. My thinking of it is, that its not necessarily the qualifications that get you a job. Say i were to get a 2:2 grade Degree; this might get me an interview, but if i were to go along with some experience in a relevant field then it would most likely swing getting the job instead of only turning up with a Number and a Name of an establishment on a piece of paper. THIS, is what im doing it for. A foot in the door rather than a knock on a brick wall.
Spring term doesn't really hold many distractions for me,(apart from Joe's 23rd birthday), so i should be able to get a nice bulk of work done without too much difficulty.
Summer term is a COMPLETELY different story. I live by a beach, in Cornwall for god sake. WHY would i want to go into uni when i could go and relax and enjoy my last summer in Falmouth on a beach in the beautiful baking sun? WHY?
This will be my downfall. Especially when i have to prepare for my Degree Show, in which i intend to make a collection of elegant silver jewellery, combined with slate and/or feathers. Silver, in-particular, being very expensive, means that there won't be much fun times that involve picnics on the beach with Chloë, and warm nights out with Sailor Jerry's and Coke. My budget will defiantly be a problem. Summer term last year. The above was ALL that happened. I almost didn't even pass my project with the National Trust because i would rather go to the beach. It was wonderful.
Honestly rather be on a Beach and fail, than be working my ass off and get a 2:2/3rd. I'm not greatly committed to work i must admit. I'd rather live.

Another good thing about spring not being that eventful is that i can save some money up, and hopefully i wont have to be too worried about going into summer term broke and panicking about buying materials.
So, im going to buy these BEASTY headphones,(£15), just to make up for the lack of spending im going to do. Right now i'm listening to Spanish Sahara by Foals through a pair that my parents got for my boyfriend for Christmas. My goodness, let me tell you, its like sex through sound in your ears.
The frequency range on these is really good and you hear absolutely everything! The highs, the lows, the voice, in-fact, just the very essence of the music. If it's good music, it will make you wet. The sound is so clear and full. Beautiful. (And they look awesome)

As always im trying to lose weight, over Christmas i havn't put on as much as i expected which can only be a bonus, but im using different scales so i wont be putting up any measurements until im back in falmouth, but it's not too bad. I've decided that i'm getting a head start on my summer body, i will look awesome in denim shorts and vests. Plan: Eat when hungry. Simple.

Moving forward a little, past summer, after Uni. So really what do i do? WELL, i am going to be moving in with Joe, most likely in Bath. Maybe with other people too, but we'll see. There are certain people i will not allow myself to live with., but thats a plan for another day, depending on who we meet and situations etc. Bath would be lovely.
  1. Because it's Bath, the most beautiful city in the country.
  2. There are lots of potential job opportunities, with galleries, museums and studios to work in and maybe make jewellery
  3. I'm somewhere that things actually happen, with nice pubs and good clubs
  4. I'd be living in my first dream place, (whether the house is ideal or not)
From there, we'll see. That is the cut-off point for my plans for 2011 at the moment. Past September i cant plan, because so many things are going to change.

I am currently in Bath at Joe's house, in his freezing cold room, and about to sleep on his little single mattress, not usually the best nights sleep, but the novelty of a new place hasn't worn off just yet.

Monday, 3 January 2011

My Favourite Christmas Presents.

In no particular order.
Pencils from my brother, Cupcake, cup measure from joes brother and co but chosen by him ha, and Glockenspiel from Joe too.
He's Good.


I have been with joe almost constantly for the last 3 weeks and now im facing not seeing him very much for another 11 weeks and its KILLING ME.
It's now one in the morning and all i want to do is go over to joe's and snuggle up in bed with him.


Sunday, 2 January 2011

Resolutions. 2011

  1. Weigh 9st and stay at that weight
  2. Take my university work seriously
  3. Time manage properly
  4. If uni fails, make an effort at getting a good start at real life
  5. Enjoy everything i do