Thursday, 13 January 2011

Shit in general.

This morning i felt pretty good, well bar a few things.
Just generally felt good, and productive. I went to Uni, got feedback for my work, (as featured in my lat post), and i got a third.
My day went dramatically downhill. It was raining. Windy. Reflecting every aspect of my mood.
In pain. Just so down.
I come home, talk to joe. It doesn't help. I miss him, and im emotional at the moment anyway, so im just crying. Talking about my work and why i almost failed. I need to work so much harder than i am doing. I need to buy materials for my work. Its getting on top of me so much and i feel hopeless.
I cant afford a train ticket to even go home for joe's birthday. I shouldn't even go out this saturday. I can't afford anything at all.
I really want to go home for joe, but i dont think i can. I need to work harder at uni, its the weekend before my dissertation deadline, so already thats not a good start. I am already half way into my overdraft, so i can barely afford a present yet alone a train ticket.
Everything is so piled at the moment. All on my chest and i cant do anything except cry. I cant think straight.
Im going to have to think of some money making solutions.
Im going to have to work much much harder.
Im going to have to try and keep everything nice with joe without seeing him somehow.

I cant stop crying tonight.

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