Mr. Sugar.

Getting angry at yourself doesn't work.

I'm still sat here.

Kilian Martin.

It's like watching dancing with skateboarding tricks.

I love the direction of these videos.

New Design?

Playing with bits.

Bruises.

I always seem to end up looking like i have the knees of a six year old boy.

///

This at the moment means that i should continue not going to Uni. That i should also continue sitting in the sun. I should talk to Joe on Skype a lot more. In fact i should just go and see Joe right now. I should draw lots of things for Shy Fox. I should just draw more in general. I should take more pictures. Develop more film. Scan things in more. I should just carry on blogging my little heart out until it explodes. I should read more quirky books. I should have more interesting discussions about the nature of humans. I should tidy my room more.

I should just carry on doing exactly what I have been doing for the last two weeks.

///

Quel que soit, sera. L'avenir ne nous appartient pas de voir.

A little wish list.

Handwritten.

Doris.

Half Productive.

Seeing as I don't appear to go to Uni anymore. I decided to start a blog on Tumblr which I can use to do Contextual Research while i am just sat on my computer all day.

http://redlayeforcrafts.tumblr.com/

It is basically so I can hand something in at the end of the year for assessment, and then I will half be able to say that I was actually doing something while I was 'ill' or 'going through something'.

Sometimes I am ill and going through a hard time, but lately it's just been an excuse to not go in.

I know i need to do a lot of physical work, but hopefully this will help bulk up my research part of the unit, as its the part which i nearly always fail on.

Yawn.

Why is it that when i go to bed at a good time, i still wake up stupidly tired and unable to face the thought of going to uni?

I would rather sit here. And draw. All day.

Beauty.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

I don't know what i can save you from.

Tattoo Talk.

As i have said before i would like the whole of Mosest Mouse's 'World at Large' tattooed on my back in some nice script.

But i would also like a line from a Kings of Convenience song or the whole song tattooed.

At the moment the song title: "I don't know what i can save you from" appeals to me. But i'm not sure if that would stay relevant for that long. Unless it was purely in reference to myself.

If i did get just one line of any song, it would probably be on my inner arm. Probably upper. Maybe even somewhere more discreet. So mum wouldn't kill me.

I think tattoos are going to happen in April, or just after. Me, Chloë and Ben all getting them done. I just don't know what to get done first.

The bird/feather.

World at large.

I don't know what i can save you from.

The lilly.

Fire.

Developed.

25% off.

Mr. Nobody

I watched Mr. Nobody tonight. I really liked it. Also the ideas behind it are quite relevant to what me and Ben where talking about earlier. It's over two hours long, but was interesting the whole way through and able to keep my attention. Jared Leto is lovely as always. He's also a very good actor, i'm going to say an under rated one actually.

I like it because it's basically saying that life is full of choices to make, some being hard and even though we don't know what is going to happen, and even though we can never weigh up the pros and cons of the consequence of a choice we have to make. Whatever we do is a choice that we make, must take responsibility for and live with. These choices we make, create the path we chose to live, even if we make bad choices and mistakes, this path is the right path for us.

Our own path is the right one for ourselves.

Say 'No' to sugar in Tea.

I realise that i should have made this post yesterday.

For lent i am giving up having sugar in my tea. Now i am not religious, and i am, like most people, just using lent as a period of time where i have an excuse to try and make something i do feel more meaningful.

I feel quite good about this Lent. For one, it will actually be a challenge, as i usually have 3, sometimes 4 sugars in my tea. I have a ridiculously sweet tooth. Two, this can't be good for me. I have between 3 and 9 cups of tea a day. Say i had 5, that is 15 sugars. And that is 225 calories. From the sugar in tea... a drink.

As i said i feel good about this challenge, and i really think i can do it.

But i am feeling bitter-sweet about the attitudes of the people i have told. I can't think of one person i have told that has been truly supportive. But at the same time, i have realised that to make me do something it is better that people take the piss and test me.

Basically no-one believes that i can succeed with this, i know i can, and i am going to prove everyone wrong.

Today for example, Ben being his usual whipped self made me a cup of tea. He respected my lent and didn't put any sugar into the actual tea, but instead gave me an egg cup full of sugar with a teaspoon to then tempt me. Now because he did this i am more likely to not want the sugar. He was basically mocking my will power, so i had a surge of it.

This insulting/mocking/testing of my will power does not seem to apply to many things though. Only the things that i can actually be bothered to do. And in most cases to prove people completely wrong. Why? I don't know. For example though, if someone says that i can't do something in my uni work, which i 'want' to do, i will usually just not bother at all, because i'm not really that fussed and its not something that i really want to do that badly. Where as when it comes to Joe, saying that he bets that i will text him because i'm jealous. Then no. I won't text him. Even if i am a tiny bit jealous. I will prove my point, that i am not going to cave in to your expectations of me at my weakest.

This is what i need. To care about bigger things then my will power for them might get things done. Rather than having the will power to not have sugar in tea or to not text my boyfriend when he is meeting up with his perfect other half, i should be having the will power to do my uni work, things i don't necessarily care about but need to be done, and to go out and experience new things.

Crisp.

Shy Fox.

Natalie Portman should always have ears.

I'm so proud of this.

Dinner.

///

Another.

From Yesterday.

Avocado. Cream cheese. Pepper. Salt.

With Tea.

///

The best playlist on the face of the earth.

Courtesy of myself and Joe.

Red///

I look like i'm going to hit someone.

To-Do List. (In Life)

• See the Northern Lights
• Visit Iceland
• Learn to play the Piano and how to read music
• Own my own Gallery
• Have my OM-2 back in complete working order
• Have a family
• Go back to Venice
• Bake a perfect loaf of bread
• Jump out of a Plane
• Learn to ride a motorbike

In no particular order.

Being a bit of a weirdo.

While i was getting dressed i just decided to put on my summer gear. Denim shorts, bikini, vest top, flip flops and sunnys. Man did i get excited. Right now the sun is shining like it's summer outside, but it's freezing cold still. Misleading bastard. But still, i just cannot wait for summer.

I feel like i really need a holiday as well. A beach holiday somewhere. Even in Cornwall somewhere, but it would be infinitely better in the Mediterranean or the Caribbean. Greece or Turkey or something, Mexico again would be the last temptation to just marry a rich man and sponge, just to stay there. I could quite happily be rich and just go anywhere i pleased.

I would also like to go to Hawaii. With flowers and beaches and sunnnn.

I honestly think i am going to fail my degree. I would honestly rather be on the beach than working in a dingy studio for the best three months of my life. This summer, will be epic. I have already basically decided that i cant be bothered with work. So i will probably waste the next term. I'm just going to do this Professional Practice unit properly and see where this gets me. I am going to be cheeky and try and ask for a job with the trellisick gallery after this work experience, if i enjoy it. I would understand if they wouldn't take me, but it would be awesome. It's wishful thinking at the moment. What could happen though, is that i ask/apply for a job now and then come back after graduation in september and work. That would be ideal.

That way i would have time to find somewhere to live and set myself up for work.

Yeah, this would all be in an ideal situation, i obviously know its going to be harder than that.

I will put some effort into my uni work, but interest has been waning dramatically since the start of this year. It isn't getting better either. I'm distracted by various things. The thought of the Summer being a main one right this moment.

I just cannot wait.

Fresh.

I want that new room feeling.

I am slightly fed up of not being able to have my room EXACTLY how i like it. I cant decorate, and the furniture is rubbish, and just its all starting to annoy me at the moment.

I want white. White, white white. With shelves and frames on the walls.

I need my own house, or at least my own room where i can buy everything fresh.

I am so close to getting a bursary.

SO CLOSE.

Mum needs to ring up and then i get free money. I think. I hope. Yay.

Professional Practise.

Ok, a while ago i mentioned the professional practise unit we are doing this term for uni, and looking at a serious plan for the future. Well so far so good. For this part of the unit there is a programme where everyone gets put with a professional maker of some craft and they work under them to gain a bit of experience of what it's like to be involved in the business side of craft. Now as much as this is a great opportunity, i didn't really fancy it, but in my tutorial i was talking about how i would love to go into the gallery business and curation and management, and apparently the woman who is the gallery manager in trelisick gallery was looking for me. She came in and was there for a seminar and q&a session about the Cornwall Crafts Association. I went up to her at the end of it and asked how she got into gallery management as i wasn't that interested in being a maker so much after uni and i could see my self in gallery work. She basically told me right there to get in contact. Before i was able to though, the list of people that were being placed with makers was up on the board, and there is my name at the top with two offers for work experience in gallery curation!

My tutor, who ordinarily i don't agree with on anything, has been brilliant. Not just with me, she has taken a personal interest in everyone's ambitions for after uni. She does seem a bit excited for me though, i think maybe because i am actually doing something different to everyone else on the course and its going well so far.

So yes anyway, i then rang up this woman, Elena. And now from Monday the 7th, i'm going to be working between Trelowarren and Trelissick and helping to set up for a show in mid march!

It's just amazing that this sort of opportunity has arrived. I have my car here now as well so there isn't much of a problem getting there. Putting this sort of work experience on my CV though will really help me. It might even be possible to get a job there afterwards. If it doesn't though it will always help me get a job in a little shitty gallery somewhere. And from there we will see.

The ultimate goal? Skip 10 years, i would love to just be starting my own gallery. A place with the aesthetic of work that i want, and my own place that i have worked hard for.

Uni.

I never want to go in.

I just sit here at the desk like a lemon.

I'm meant to be working.

Instead i'm drinking tea.

A lost day.

Today is a hopeless day.

I need to buy tools but have no money, i need to do certain things in my work but i never seem to get a chance.

I gave up on uni today in the studio, instead ill be at home and print things off.

Also it is March tomorrow which means i have exactly £100 to last me for two months.

Joy.

Sad Fox

Writing always helps.

As much as Blogging might be helpful, writing things by hand, for some reason, makes everything more clear.

How you feel. What you want. You can formulate plans, analyse your own opinions and look at why you are feeling certain ways.

I could write and write and write.

Day of Falmouth and Niceness.

Current symptoms of nothing.

• Almost fainted on the stairs
• Stomach ache
• Ear ache
• Headache
• Shivers
• Hot/Cold flushes
• Feeling faint even when lead down
• Light Spots in my eyes

What is going on?

I am also home alone and have been commanded by my housemate to have my phone on me at all times.

Yes sir.

Chloë

I'm not as big as a fan of this one of Chloë as i am of the one of Anthony, because Chloë's head was slightly to the side and i tried to get her head right but i didn't get the shortening right on one side of her face.

Oh well, i still like it, it looks better on paper than in pixels.