For lent i am giving up having sugar in my tea. Now i am not religious, and i am, like most people, just using lent as a period of time where i have an excuse to try and make something i do feel more meaningful.
I feel quite good about this Lent. For one, it will actually be a challenge, as i usually have 3, sometimes 4 sugars in my tea. I have a ridiculously sweet tooth. Two, this can't be good for me. I have between 3 and 9 cups of tea a day. Say i had 5, that is 15 sugars. And that is 225 calories. From the sugar in tea... a drink.
As i said i feel good about this challenge, and i really think i can do it.
But i am feeling bitter-sweet about the attitudes of the people i have told. I can't think of one person i have told that has been truly supportive. But at the same time, i have realised that to make me do something it is better that people take the piss and test me.
Basically no-one believes that i can succeed with this, i know i can, and i am going to prove everyone wrong.
Today for example, Ben being his usual whipped self made me a cup of tea. He respected my lent and didn't put any sugar into the actual tea, but instead gave me an egg cup full of sugar with a teaspoon to then tempt me. Now because he did this i am more likely to not want the sugar. He was basically mocking my will power, so i had a surge of it.
This insulting/mocking/testing of my will power does not seem to apply to many things though. Only the things that i can actually be bothered to do. And in most cases to prove people completely wrong. Why? I don't know. For example though, if someone says that i can't do something in my uni work, which i 'want' to do, i will usually just not bother at all, because i'm not really that fussed and its not something that i really want to do that badly. Where as when it comes to Joe, saying that he bets that i will text him because i'm jealous. Then no. I won't text him. Even if i am a tiny bit jealous. I will prove my point, that i am not going to cave in to your expectations of me at my weakest.
This is what i need. To care about bigger things then my will power for them might get things done. Rather than having the will power to not have sugar in tea or to not text my boyfriend when he is meeting up with his perfect other half, i should be having the will power to do my uni work, things i don't necessarily care about but need to be done, and to go out and experience new things.