Thursday, 2 February 2012


That's it. That's where i am. What I am doing.
I am sat in an office.
It's where I work.
The same company as my mother. The same office as her too.
I am a temp. From part time to full time. Only in one week.
The printer. The poster. The tea girl, sometimes.

It is easy work. Largely unfulfilling. Setting myself tiny and insignificant goals.
- Make ten manuals in one day.
I make training manuals. I print out 363 pages for each. The printer tattooing the poor dead trees.
Sat in this posture friendly chair. I am uninspired. And left with no time to become so.

5:45am - My first alarm sounds.
5:45am - I press snooze.
5:55am - Second alarm.
5:55am - Snooze once more.
6:05am - Crawl reluctantly from my warm bed. Into the freezing cold of my room I step.
6:06am - Space heater, full blast. Laptop, on.
6:07am - Bathroom. Shower. Teeth. Freshness through grogginess.
6:30am - Relaxed music. Makeup. Clothing selection. Black trousers. Smart top. Hair dried. Coat on.
7:10am - Shoes on. Out the door. Defrost Dexter.
7:15am - No later than this, or I get stuck, more so than I do already. Select music. Drive.
8:30am - Arrive at work. After tedious driving. Bad drivers. Roundabout queues. Nightmare.
8:35am - Flasher card. Access. Ecspresso. 2 or 3 sugars. Thankyou very much. Stir it please.
8:45am - Start manuals. Rondezvous with manager. Every day is the same thing.
11:00am - Stomach starts to grumble.
11:30am - Drink copious amounts of tea. Delay the lunch hour. Delay. Delay. Delay.
1:00pm - Lunch time. Walk into the town. Take pictures. Paninis. Sandwiches. Deli lust. Plume of smoke? Perhaps. Apreciate the sun.
2:00pm - Walk ever so slowly back to the office. A large clostrophobic space.
2:15pm - After delaying some more. Coffee. Tea. Chai. Manuals. Snap. Print. Snap. Compile.
5:00pm - Intend to leave. On the dot. Most of the time. There is ONE more thing to do.
5:20pm - Actually leave. Stubble bumble to the car. Frost in my nose. Sunsets looking pretty. Picture snap. A happy reminder, the sun does exist. Car heat. Full blast. Thawing feet and fingers and cheeks.
5:25pm - Drive. Repeat previous journey. In reverse.
6:30pm - Arrive home. Shoes off. Cracking knees, ankles and hips. Stomp up the stairs. Back to my freezing room.
7:00pm - Eat. Somthing. Anything. Warming? Cooling? I am not fussy. Feed the grumbling in my belly.
8:30pm - After meals. Short catchups with the father. My room has been warmed. Trusted space heater. Sparks. Music. Episodes. Uploads.
9:00pm - Intend to go to bed, within the next hour.
10:30pm - Make hot water bottle. Warm milk and honey. Or Chai. Check and close all social media.
10:45pm - Climb into bed. Feet burning. Hot water inside fluff. Snooze and sleep and sleep and dream

04:45am - Wake up exactly an hour before my alarm. Back to sleep in the cold.

This is my day. Monday to Friday. Not just 9 to 5. They never count the extras.
This is why, my friends, I cannot go out with you on the weekdays. The weekends have become precious. Even they feel wasted.
The office is only tiring, because I can feel my brain rotting. Lack of visual stimulation. My ears picking up gossips. People I do not know. I know about their little mischiefs.

7 months more.
A change would be much welcomed. Sooner rather than later.
A new place to live. What a lovely start that would be.

I miss the film in my camera . My pencils. My sketchbooks. My paints. Hell, I even miss my peircing saw.
More time. I need more time.

Time to see.
Time to do.

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