Instead i'm drinking tea.
Monday, 28 February 2011
A lost day.
Today is a hopeless day.
I need to buy tools but have no money, i need to do certain things in my work but i never seem to get a chance.
I gave up on uni today in the studio, instead ill be at home and print things off.
Also it is March tomorrow which means i have exactly £100 to last me for two months.
Joy.
Saturday, 26 February 2011
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Writing always helps.
As much as Blogging might be helpful, writing things by hand, for some reason, makes everything more clear.
How you feel. What you want. You can formulate plans, analyse your own opinions and look at why you are feeling certain ways.
I could write and write and write.
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Current symptoms of nothing.
- Almost fainted on the stairs
- Stomach ache
- Ear ache
- Headache
- Shivers
- Hot/Cold flushes
- Feeling faint even when lead down
- Light Spots in my eyes
What is going on?
I am also home alone and have been commanded by my housemate to have my phone on me at all times.
Yes sir.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Chloë
I'm not as big as a fan of this one of Chloë as i am of the one of Anthony, because Chloë's head was slightly to the side and i tried to get her head right but i didn't get the shortening right on one side of her face. Oh well, i still like it, it looks better on paper than in pixels.
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Awesome Day.
- Woke up. Felt like it was a skinny day and decided to try on my dress, which i haven't worn for 2 years and the one that hasn't fitted properly for 3. IT FITS, really nicely, and im so happy about it. I never thought this day would come. Its so amazing. I think ill even post a picture at some point.
- I handed in my dissertation today, so that is all done, out the way and out of my head thank god.
- I finished the single finger knuckle duster today, which i will post later, and it was very popular. It's annoying when people ask me why i haven't been making things this good for the last couple of years though...
- I had a discussion with my tutor today about my future and what i want to do. The main goal for later in life is to own my own gallery, charging for space and then taking commission if pieces sell. The short term goals are to decide what i am going to do IMMEDIATELY after uni. So july. Obviously ill go home for a month or so to organise my stuff. But then is when i have to think of what to do. It could either be getting a job in a gallery in bath and live with joe which i would really like. Or get a job here in cornwall, somewhere in a gallery and seeing as joe is finished and we have been apart for the whole time at uni he could either move to be with me or we could just spend some more time apart, but i'm not sure about this idea. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to move to live with me in cornwall, but mainly because he wouldn't want to feel like he had been forced to move to be with me. I know that would be apparent for anyone he might have been with though. Another option is to go into business with a friend, managing a shop? gallery space? making stuff? etc. Thats the quite vague option really, but still a promising option none the less.
Today has made me feel motivated, and excited and a little bit hyper. I will post a picture of the ring i made later.
I cant believe it.
I can fit into a dress that i have been too big for, for over three years..
It's my favourite dress and i can finally wear it again. I could cry with happiness.
A real sleep.
I had my first real nights sleep last night, with a slight blip at 2am, but the radiator as stupidly hot.
It's so nice to be awake and not feel tired.
I'm getting my dissertation bound today. Then tomorrow it's handed in.
I will never have to wright a fucking essay ever again.
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Finally.
I have finished my dissertation. Amazing.
But right now i am so sleepy. Lack of sleep, stress and lack of food really isn't a good combination.
Good news though, i am going up to see Joe on the 18th.
I spent the money for food for the next three weeks on a train ticket.
I'm going to be living on nothing but rice.
The 18th really can't come soon enough.
That is all. Goodnight.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Joke of a house-'mate'.
Then i sent my own message as a response. It said...
I apologise for my status last night. I know it's not an excuse, but i was drunk, and reading something with several things in that aren't true, usually gets anyone quite cross. Hence the resulting angry status.
I would first like to question your logic in sending that email to Chloë. Did you think i would not see it? Or was that the cowardly intention? To send Chloë a message for me to read, so that in your 'perfectly' politically correct way you could say what you think about me without actually having to say them to my face. (Facebook or in person)
Can i ask, What did i do to treat Becky so badly? I didn't victimise her, I didn't bully her. I found her rude but did not say anything because it wasn't an issue with actually living with her. For example, if me or chloe were to walk into the kitchen when she was making something, more often than not, she would not even acknowledge us. I consider that rude.
I would also like to know why you thought i had a vendetta against her. Did you know that a Vendetta is a blood feud in which the family of a murdered person seeks vengeance on the murderer or the murderer's family. (I know what you mean but i'm just trying to highlight the stupidity of what you are saying)
You were never there when me and chloe would have a discussion with Becky about some issue we had. We would talk to her and explain and she was usually very responsive and nice and would listen to what we had to say, then share her view. With the washing up bowl, the washing machine, music etc. There was ONE time where i actually got angry at her, and to her face, because she left a pan of water on the hob boiling while she went to have a shower... The water all boiled away, and the pan was burning and the heat was on under it. Did she want to burn the house down?
A reason that me and Chloe were so resistant about turning the music down is because one night, we were in Chloe's room just chatting and listening to music, and at 9pm Becky comes and requests perfectly nicely that we turn the music down because she is going to bed and we obliged. Even better we turned it off. We were still talking, (just talking like a normal human being does when they are sharing a conversation), and at 10pm she came down and actually shouted at us for not keeping the noise down, and saying that she has to get up at 7am the next day. She said that we weren't being considerate.
Now lets look at this.. It was 10pm. We had already turned the music off. We were talking normally. And she still comes down and shouts at us. Now, i'm not trying to be funny, but we were considerate, and as it was still quite early, (10 o'clock), i am not going to stay SILENT for someone. I will turn music down/off, shut my door, compromise. But i WILL NOT let go of the basic human right to converse with a friend. It is not the turning down of the music that was the issue. It was the way she got angry because she didn't get exactly what she wanted.
If she ever had any issues with what we were saying and didn't tell us then she obviously just moaned about it to you, but that is what everyone does, they moan about things they aren't happy with. For you to assume that I was just shouting at her because i was annoyed with something is just stupid.
To Assume is to make an ASS of U and ME. (Did that didn't you)
Also if i have moaned to you about becky, then i may not have been actually hating on her. Like i just said, PEOPLE MOAN. They don't always mean what they say. I think sometimes you take things too literally and seriously. Maybe you should learn to take things with a pinch of salt.
The reason i left you a note about the cake, as i explained to you at the time, was because my brother and his girlfriend bought us that all to share, as a thank you for letting them stay in our house. For you and Sara, to go ahead and eat it, without everyone else, i thought was just rude. Also, you ate all of the fudge on the top, so yeah, 'Anti-social Fudge Packers'.
(I can't believe that you have held on to this for 6 months)
I'd also like to inform you that leaving a note is not going 'mental' at someone, it is a way of informing someone of something while they are not there. As i recall, YOU are the one with issues about notes. YOU would go mental. Actually mental. Raging upstairs, and actually screaming? Don't bottle feelings and shit up like that, the only way it comes out is through rage. And its not nice for anyone. Yes some notes are unnecessary and annoying, but there is no need to physically go mental because of them.
Please explain...
"try not to let tash fly off the wall" - WHAT?
When have i ever flown off the wall? At ANYONE? EVER? Please i would like ONE example of when i have ever gotten so angry that you would consider it flying off the wall. and not in note form as you obviously consider that an offence worthy of jail.
Reading your letter, it almost makes it look like you think i am violent and mentally unstable. I just really don't understand how you could come to this conclusion. And to be honest its quite upsetting. The idea that you would have been scared to do something or say something because you were scared of me getting so angry at you? It makes me upset that you may have been tiptoeing around something instead of coming and talking to me about it.
I'm excited at getting to know Kire, and i'm not going to fly off the wall, (not that i do with anyone). She seems really nice, and hopefully she'll be a great person to live with.
It is sad that you didn't say goodbye properly before you left. I thought we were friends. Even though we had differences of opinions and different interests, we did have some nice times chilling out.
I did actually like you.
(Please note the past tense)
Tash.
Ps. If you leave piss on the toilet seat, your housemates don't appreciate having to wipe it off before they use it.
Clean it up.
I would first like to question your logic in sending that email to Chloë. Did you think i would not see it? Or was that the cowardly intention? To send Chloë a message for me to read, so that in your 'perfectly' politically correct way you could say what you think about me without actually having to say them to my face. (Facebook or in person)
Can i ask, What did i do to treat Becky so badly? I didn't victimise her, I didn't bully her. I found her rude but did not say anything because it wasn't an issue with actually living with her. For example, if me or chloe were to walk into the kitchen when she was making something, more often than not, she would not even acknowledge us. I consider that rude.
I would also like to know why you thought i had a vendetta against her. Did you know that a Vendetta is a blood feud in which the family of a murdered person seeks vengeance on the murderer or the murderer's family. (I know what you mean but i'm just trying to highlight the stupidity of what you are saying)
You were never there when me and chloe would have a discussion with Becky about some issue we had. We would talk to her and explain and she was usually very responsive and nice and would listen to what we had to say, then share her view. With the washing up bowl, the washing machine, music etc. There was ONE time where i actually got angry at her, and to her face, because she left a pan of water on the hob boiling while she went to have a shower... The water all boiled away, and the pan was burning and the heat was on under it. Did she want to burn the house down?
A reason that me and Chloe were so resistant about turning the music down is because one night, we were in Chloe's room just chatting and listening to music, and at 9pm Becky comes and requests perfectly nicely that we turn the music down because she is going to bed and we obliged. Even better we turned it off. We were still talking, (just talking like a normal human being does when they are sharing a conversation), and at 10pm she came down and actually shouted at us for not keeping the noise down, and saying that she has to get up at 7am the next day. She said that we weren't being considerate.
Now lets look at this.. It was 10pm. We had already turned the music off. We were talking normally. And she still comes down and shouts at us. Now, i'm not trying to be funny, but we were considerate, and as it was still quite early, (10 o'clock), i am not going to stay SILENT for someone. I will turn music down/off, shut my door, compromise. But i WILL NOT let go of the basic human right to converse with a friend. It is not the turning down of the music that was the issue. It was the way she got angry because she didn't get exactly what she wanted.
If she ever had any issues with what we were saying and didn't tell us then she obviously just moaned about it to you, but that is what everyone does, they moan about things they aren't happy with. For you to assume that I was just shouting at her because i was annoyed with something is just stupid.
To Assume is to make an ASS of U and ME. (Did that didn't you)
Also if i have moaned to you about becky, then i may not have been actually hating on her. Like i just said, PEOPLE MOAN. They don't always mean what they say. I think sometimes you take things too literally and seriously. Maybe you should learn to take things with a pinch of salt.
The reason i left you a note about the cake, as i explained to you at the time, was because my brother and his girlfriend bought us that all to share, as a thank you for letting them stay in our house. For you and Sara, to go ahead and eat it, without everyone else, i thought was just rude. Also, you ate all of the fudge on the top, so yeah, 'Anti-social Fudge Packers'.
(I can't believe that you have held on to this for 6 months)
I'd also like to inform you that leaving a note is not going 'mental' at someone, it is a way of informing someone of something while they are not there. As i recall, YOU are the one with issues about notes. YOU would go mental. Actually mental. Raging upstairs, and actually screaming? Don't bottle feelings and shit up like that, the only way it comes out is through rage. And its not nice for anyone. Yes some notes are unnecessary and annoying, but there is no need to physically go mental because of them.
Please explain...
"try not to let tash fly off the wall" - WHAT?
When have i ever flown off the wall? At ANYONE? EVER? Please i would like ONE example of when i have ever gotten so angry that you would consider it flying off the wall. and not in note form as you obviously consider that an offence worthy of jail.
Reading your letter, it almost makes it look like you think i am violent and mentally unstable. I just really don't understand how you could come to this conclusion. And to be honest its quite upsetting. The idea that you would have been scared to do something or say something because you were scared of me getting so angry at you? It makes me upset that you may have been tiptoeing around something instead of coming and talking to me about it.
I'm excited at getting to know Kire, and i'm not going to fly off the wall, (not that i do with anyone). She seems really nice, and hopefully she'll be a great person to live with.
It is sad that you didn't say goodbye properly before you left. I thought we were friends. Even though we had differences of opinions and different interests, we did have some nice times chilling out.
I did actually like you.
(Please note the past tense)
Tash.
Ps. If you leave piss on the toilet seat, your housemates don't appreciate having to wipe it off before they use it.
Clean it up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)