Baked.

For my birthday i was planning to have a nice tea party, with alot of cupcakes. So we made lots of cupcakes. Sadly my birthday was a bit o a fail and didn't even come close to my expectations. Lame 21st, but i guess thats growing up. I cant have everything i want.

Im really glad Chloe came to stay.

It probably would have been better out in Bath if it was actually just us two and maybe the Joes. That way it might not have been quit that much of a disappointment, and more fun.

I dont want to sound funny, but if i want to go out in Bath for my 21st fucking birthday maybe it should be me deciding where we are going..

Bath.

When ever me and my mum go to Bath shopping together we always stop in Thorntons to get a drink and some lunch.

We were in Bath looking around for cake decorations and sprinkles for my birthday where i am going to make shit-loads of cupcakes. So it only seemed fitting that i had a nice pretty cupcake with my strawberry milkshake. Yum.

Bath turned out to be an absolute fail, but the was a shop in Trowbridge that had a whole floor full of sugar craft stuff. We basically bought the shop, and even found the same little heart sprinkles that i had on my cupcake in Thorntons.

Hello Wedges!

They are like heaven on my feet.

in the Shade.

I went to Bath yesterday to have a nice poke about. I had a real browse in Topshop, H&M and Office. There are quite a few things that i deleted from my online Topshop basket after trying them on and them just looking awful on me. Good news though, there where a few more additions after trying things on aswell.

In H&M they had lots of accessories on sale, and lots of sunglasses for only £1! So i bought two. I had to, who wouldn't? But there were a lovely pair of metal aviators for £4.99, and seeing as i have been looking for a pair that fit my face

for years, so naturally i had to get them.

I must say though, my sunglasses collection has got a tad ridiculous. I think i have 9 pairs. Some of them are in Falmouth though, but ill have a count when i go back there in a month or so.

Basically yesterday i was on the hunt for shoes. The black peep-toe

wedges in Topshop or similar really. I found the wedges i was after and they didn't have my size but i tried them on anyway, and they look so amazing. They are £80, but they are suede so i guess thats why they are so expensive. I went to Office afterwards, and there were some similar wedges there, but the ankle was about an inch higher, and the toe was covered, in a nice round toes show. Suede and black again, and they were so comfortable, it was like heaven on my feet. However, these ones are £89. Quite pricey, and WAY out of my budget.

When i got home i had a look on Ebay to see if there where an

y cheaper or maybe second hand, and i found a little gem!

Seeing as Winter is well on the way i was more taken with the idea of a covered toe even if the peep-toes do just look badass. But the office shoes i tried on had a higher ankle than i would have liked. But i found these lovelies, that seem to be the perfect mix between the two. Covered shoe, lower ankle, black wedges. These babies are only £26! Magic. The cost is probably a lot less than the other ones because these are imitation suede rather than real. But they are beautiful none the less.

I bought them. Back to the overdraft for a little while. But i think its worth it. I havn't been able to satisfy my Clothing lust for a while now, so i think i can live with it.

I can't wait for them to get here.

MagRags.

I am loving the upcoming fashions for A/W 2010. Leather, studs, black and white, TONNES of texture, which i love in general. Just all the badass stuff that is coming out and is available in the shops, i never want this to end!

My birthday is soon so im stealing myself for after that so i can go on a little shopping spree, im hoping that by then ill have around £500 if im lucky and then i can literally buy all the things i want. Iv been making baskets in shops all over the internet. Even things in germany. I know i wont be able to buy them. But i can fantasise about it.

In this months issue of ELLE there is a competition to get published, and you have to write a 900-ish word article answering the question.. "Do you really need another pair of shoes?". In a nutshell i said yes because our sanity's depend on it. I don't think ill win in the slightest but it was quite fun. It was just sort of nice to be able to write about something i was interested in and it not being marked at uni or criticised on my blogs. It would be something id like to do i think. Yet another pipe-dream job.

On another note, i need to get the fuck out of here. Literally driving me insane.

Thats it really.

today.

Did excersize all day and felt really good about myself for doing it. My legs have been aching but its a good satisfying ache.

THEN it all goes to shit because my mum comes home with chocolates and my dad is home so i have to have a fucking huge dinner. EURGH.

Waste of a day.

Munch.

Popcorn.

Babybels.

Pistachios.

TEA. (3 Sugars)

Lets go back now?

Actually just want to go back to falmouth. I am so excited for this year. The final year of freedom.

Pea and Basil.

I just made a really nice Pea and Basil paste/dip to go with some salmon.

I was going to do pea and mint but there was no fresh mint, but there was lots of basil.

It was really nice, and flavoursome.

I just made enough to fill one ramekin.

I used frozen peas, and blitzed them with a hand blender. A splash of lemon juice, a table spoon of double cream, salt and pepper, half a tea spoon of garlic granules, a sprinkle of dill and a handful of big fresh Basil Leaves.

I loved it and was pleasantly surprised. I didn't really expect it to turn out that well.

Im not sure salmon is the best thing to have it with though, maybe a less fishy tasting fish, because like i said the paste is full of flavour.

I think im going to experiment with it as a filling for a quiche maybe? Its got that sort of savoury picnic flavour that i like.

Sorry i dont have a picture, i didn't think it would be a success.

The problem with being back at home in my parents house for so long; is that it makes me feel like i should be moving out and having my own house and getting married with a family and just generally being my own parents. I know i have to go back to university but because im nearly 21 and am unable to be my own person in my own space in my parents house its making me feel like i need to move. NOW.

I know really that when i go back to uni i will be happy to have my freedom again, in my nice room, in the wonky house, but at the moment it is just frustrating.

I keep having daydreams about my future house. They are very idealistic daydreams and there are many different houses featured.

One is the most realistic. A flat in Bath. a roof apartment with a nice airy living room and bedroom, with enough space to do some creating. Neutral throughout. White and cream. with some solid brown red and white colours in different rooms. Over looking the streets of bath. If it were to happen then i will need to work hard.

Another daydream is to own an old cottage house near some body of water, which is covered in snow in the winter time, and bathing in beautiful sunshine in the summer. With rooms big enough for the most comfy white leather sofas and a bathroom with a huge white footed bath tub in the middle of the room.

I realise that this is quite a pipe dream, but maybe when im old, it would be the most beautiful retirement home.

I need to leave here basically.

Whether it is back to falmouth or actually to find my own house.

I need to take more pictures while at home.

Car Boot sales are my new job.

That is all.

Ce lieu est une Prison.

I'm 'home'.

It's in italics because i dont really consider Frome to be home anymore. Its a trap. Every holiday i come back to a house with no personality. A room with no me in it. Surroundings with no inspiration. A place with no jobs. I have no source of income. My parents have cut me off. While they are also telling me to do stuff with my car and things that involve money.

There are too many birthdays in july might i add. More money down the drain.

In these desperate financial times i have printed my CV on the quantity of paper that might make up a small forest, and handing them out with no results. Me and my brother are planning on doing a car boot sale with ALL our crap. So that might get quite a nice little bundle. (I have tonnes of old Brand Name stuff and loads of Vintage Jewellery). Im also planning to crack into my life savings to replenish my overdraft. I really didn't think it would come to this at all. But my Topshop addiction really did come to a head last term. I have literally been so stupid with money that my parents are paying my rent over summer, which i am SO thankful for. This has resulted in me being cut off though. So i am literally doing nothing.

I have some ideas that i want to put into action painting wise. But with no room to play with, this is proving difficult. Joe gave me loads of huge canvases and i would really like nothing else than a room to go crazy in with them. But with my room now and the nice carpet that my parents are funny about and the shed all bunged up with crap, there really is no room for me. And everyone wonders why im so wound up lately.

It feels like i have so much to do, and i had loads of plans for the summer that i thought would be cheap and easy to do. But i have no money to my name at the moment.

My overdraft is on £-997.58.

The limit is £1000.

Screwed.

SO YES. no fun for Tash this summer.

Im going to bed to have some more dreams where my teeth fall out and i try to use them as currency to buy a leather bag with studs on. (Which i would like for my birthday)

Ill keep you posted on how my summer is going.

And if i manage to be creative, ill put up some pictures.

Skint.

to the point where my housemates are donating food to me.

This really isn't fun.

World at Large - Modest Mouse.

I always wish i had the balls to pack up my stuff and just go somewhere and experience something new.

Ice-age heat wave, can't complain.

If the world's at large, why should I remain?

Walked away to another plan.

Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand.

I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way.

Went to the porch to have a thought.

Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop.

You don't know where and you don't know when.

But you still got your words and you got your friends.

Walk along to another day.

Work a little harder, work another way.

Well uh-uh baby I ain't got no plan.

We'll float on maybe would you understand?

Gonna float on maybe would you understand?

Well I'll float on maybe would you understand?

The days get shorter and the nights get cold.

I like the autumn but this place is getting old.

I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast.

It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.

The day's get longer and the nights smell green.

I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.

I like songs about drifters - books about the same.

They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.

Walked on off to another spot.

I still haven't got anywhere that I want.

Did I want love? Did I need to know?

Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

The moths beat themselves to death against the lights.

Adding their breeze to the summer nights.

Outside, water like air was great.

I didn't know what I had that day.

Walk a little farther to another plan.

You said that you did, but you didn't understand.

I know that starting over is not what life's all about.

But my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.

My thoughts were so loud.

Trelissick.

This is my piece.

I dont like it.

People seemed to like it at the private view.

But i dont.

Steel, paint and feathers.

I hope it rusts away.

Trelissick Garden Project Update.

I am still not panicking. I must be insane. I have to be in uni for 7am friday morning to go and set up. This means i have the day tomorrow to fill the buds with textures, I MUST BE FINISHED BY NINE PM.

Or im screwed.

These are the lilly buds sprayed that i did today. I think everyone was surprised about how they were going to look. Nice to know everyone has faith in me.

Do I Panic Yet?

I am currently doing a project in uni that is site specific and based in Trellisick Gardens in Cornwall. We have all had since before the Easter Holidays to develop and make our pieces, but yet again 2nd year Contemporary Crafts frustrate the tutors and dont appear to have much done a week before the private view. I am very much included in this statement. The exhibition opens on 21st May, (friday). I made the first component of my piece yesterday, (friday the 14th). I dont think it has hit me yet that we only have 3/4 days to finish this. No matter how many times i tell it to myself or how much the tutors tell me, "Well Fucking hell. Good Luck", It still doesn't get through my head.

Anyway, i can get it done, it is just a lot of work with every day thi

s week in the studio until 9pm.

These are the main buds. I know they dont look very pretty at the moment. But they will be. They are quite sharp and seeing as they are meant to be for people to put their hands in, im going to have to seriously sort that out. I even got a metal splinter in my arm from one of them. I have quite alot of work to do.

So why am i not panicking? I can't tell you that, as i dont know myself.

Nutritious.

This weekend has been really fun in general, chilling with Gemma. A highlight of the weekend though has actually been the food, aswell as the company. On friday I bought our house a tiny little BBQ that is so short that it only comes to my knees, me being 5'3", this is quite small. Even so, it is a badass little cooking machine. Gemma came round on friday and we warmed up the new BBQ. I have been wanting to try out the recipe for quite a while and this was the perfect time. So i wrapped up two little foil packages, each of them containing a filet of Haddock, a slice and juices of a lime, lemon and orange, sprigs of dill, red chilli, and some onion. The original recipe calls for cod, and doesn't include dill, but because haddock has such a nice fishy flavour i put the dill in to bring it out. I dont mean to blow my own horn, but it was amazing, cooked to perfection and tasted beautiful. I served it with a salad with a little dressing on, and it just worked. The citrus was subtle, and the juices were lovely. Thinking about it make me want it again. It will happen again soon.

Myself and Gemma carried on our girly few days and went on a shopping trip to Truro. It was another nice day, even though there were a few shopping disappointments for me. So naturally when you start to run out of steam when shopping, you need to refuel. We went to a lovely little vegetarian cafe type restaurant called Lettuce & Lovage. I really do feel the Lovage. We got a huge plate of Nachos to share, and some elderflower to drink and it was awesome. It is just so yummy. The one thing though, is they could do with more cheese. Just a tad more. Personally there weren't enough Jalapenos for my taste. The guacamole and the salsa were very good though, big chunks of avocado doused in lime juice, and huge chunks of tomatoes and herbs. It was an orgasm in the mouth.

I would recommend Lettuce & Lovage to anyone who appreciates good food and wonderful flavours. But if you are going to complain about the lack of meat on the menu then i suggest that you steer clear.

So yes, over all a lovely few days for the senses. Amazing food. Beautiful Clothes. Fresh Air. Pampering. Chats and Giggles.

Then i have to go an spoil the good food with THE BEST SWEETS IN THE WORLD...

I am however, not complaining.

Gemma&Paint&Cider&Giggles.

We sorted ourselves out.

I painted and drew my shoes.

Shits and Giggles.

Simply a lovely afternoon.

Rockin' The Denim.

I might not be Rockin' it. But im loving this jacket.