Monday, 15 October 2012

August was Pretty. September was Busy.

These last few months have been incredibly exciting. Full of new and familiar experiences. 
People. Places. Names. Faces. Work. Leisure. Houses. Rooms. Surroundings. Music. Adventures. 

Glancing back quickly.
August. Such a pretty month.
One full of expectations and relief. Things coming to definite ends with promises of new starts and opportunities galore.
Spontaneous trips to strange beaches and towns. 
The words 'Fuck it' slipping their way before almost any answer I gave for tasks and favours. What do I have to lose?
Nothing. I am moving away from this place.
These where my thoughts. 

Now. I would not say I was running away.
I have not run away. If anything, I feel more myself. Away from the place where I grew up.
Falmouth. Again. Not Frome. Here is were I dwell.
The idea had been brewing in my thick skull since I left last year.
A visit to Cornwall here and there since. And again I would leave.
Even when I did the photo job around Truro, when I left, I would well up. I was always leaving my home. Promising to it, under my breath or screaming out loud in the car, that I would return.
I have managed it.

August had something special about it this year.
My photos had become a key part of who I am/want to be. For one. Confidence building. Faith in myself, and my own abilities.
My temporary office job, uncreative and unsatisfying was drawing to a close.
This colliding with the turn of ages. 23 this year. An old girl.
Along with the promise of relief. Falmouth, a mini promised land.
I had worked toward getting away. It was happening. And I cannot now describe the self satisfaction and pure joy that I felt.

Of course. I had a party. I made too much food. Leaving and growing and olding. It deserves a celebration.
I know I have said it many times. MANY times.
It was the end of an Era.
It is always the end of an Era.
And always a new one coming around.

Not even too soon. It was time to leave for Falmouth. The above picture was taken on the night before I left.
I stood out for air.
Packing is a pain.
I received a phone call. A newly important friend. Near by. Looking at the same sky.
How most people will receive this I do not know. But I felt a sudden love for the place I was leaving behind. For the people, and the times. Recent times to be precise. A sudden rush of memories. Stood next to my shed. My hide out. Appreciation is what I felt.
And then excitement.
Almost as intensely. Things changing again. Time to move. Towards something.
Never not moving.

I did arrive.
1st September.

I started a life again.
But this is not the beginning.
Because there is yet another era ending and another shortly to begin.

The excitement for another new chapter outweighs anything else mentioned before.
And this I will explain another day.

I'm nearly home.

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